When Therapy isn’t working... Here’s what you can do. Therapy in San Francisco, California.
You show up week after week. You talk for most of the session. It feels like the same conversation over and over. Your therapist seems to be trying to help you, they listen, give you some feedback and suggestions. But it doesn’t seem to be helping. Your therapist might have an approach that just doesn’t seem to be working for you. It makes you not want to open up and address the issues you came for.
You’re questioning if therapy is worth it or not.
You feel like you’re not changing or benefitting enough. Your life is still the same and so are your struggles. Or you regularly leave the therapy session feeling more confused, depressed, and anxious than before the session. You’re wondering, “is this how therapy is supposed to be? Is it worth it?" You may be even questioning if therapy is something that can help you or not, and saying, “maybe therapy isn’t for me.”
If you feel that therapy isn’t working for you, know that you don’t have to settle for therapy sessions that leave you with more depression and anxiety.
There are some things you can do if you think therapy is failing you.
Before you quit therapy, consider these options that could provide you with better results.
Recognize the need for change. The first step is to recognize that you may need to make changes in how you receive or use therapy. First, make sure you’re giving therapy a chance. If you quit after just one session, you will not know if therapy could work for you. However, if you’ve been in therapy for months without seeing an improvement, then it may be time to consider a change. You might not resonate with the style of your therapist. You might like someone who listens more, or someone who is more directive. Recognize what you need from your therapist.
Talk to your therapist. You can’t expect things to change if you don’t address your concerns. Your therapist will not know how you feel unless you share it with them. Explain to your therapist how the therapy isn’t working for you. Perhaps you and your therapist can develop a different approach to helping with your issues. Focusing on specific things can help your therapist know how to help you. Discuss what you would like to change. You can talk about the barriers that seem to be stopping you from having success with your therapy.
Consider trying another therapist. In some cases, you and your first therapist may not be the best fit. In such a case, you may simply need to find another person who will better understand you. You may even need to try several therapists until you find the right one. It helps to interview any therapist that you may be considering by asking them questions. Ensure they’re licensed, professional, and know how to help the issues with which you are coming to them. Consider that you may need to seek out a specialist for your specific issues. For more on this, you can check out my blog post, Questions to Ask a Therapist, Counselor, or Psychologist in San Francisco, California.
Explore other types of therapy. There are many different types of therapy approaches and treatment methods. Consider that you may benefit from a different type of therapy. Individual therapy works well for most people, but other types of therapy include group therapy, couples therapy, and family therapy. Be willing to explore other therapy options. Even within individual therapy approaches, there is cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), and energy psychology approaches, just to name a few. You can talk with your therapist or do your own research to see if another method might be better for you.
Medication is an option. It’s possible that therapy isn’t enough by itself to make a significant change in your life. Perhaps medications will help. Talk with your doctor about medicines that could make a difference, and their side effects, so you can make an informed decision. You may also want to think about a combination of medication and therapy, which in many cases, more effectively provides the results you seek from your therapy.
Be brave. It’s difficult to admit that something isn’t working for you, but you’re committing time, effort, and money to have therapy. If the process isn’t working, it’s important to know that you can speak up. You won’t see any changes until you address the issues. Also consider how much you’re really putting into the therapy process. Just attending sessions may not help. Are you following the guidance from therapy and implementing it? Are you ignoring the techniques and homework? Therapy won’t work unless you’re willing to use the information you learn. Change happens by doing things differently.
Therapy is a process that may need to be adjusted along the way. Recognize that just like anything else, therapy has its highs and lows. There may be phases of therapy when things are going well and you’re getting a lot out of it. And there may be phases when you don’t’ feel the benefits as much. It could be that you’re working on deeper issues that sometimes bring up more depression, anxiety, and upset feelings. These take longer to explore, but sticking with it means you can make longer lasting changes. It’s still good to have an open conversation with your therapist about how you feel therapy is going.
If you feel that your current therapy isn’t working for you, have an open discussion with your therapist and consider alternatives. You may find the solution to getting what you need out of therapy, and that makes all the difference! With the right therapy, you will be able to address the issues you’re dealing with, feel heard and understood, develop strategies to cope, reduce unpleasant feelings of depression, anxiety, stress, and struggle, and improve some or more areas of your life.
Therapy in San Francisco, California, can help.
I understand the importance of having a competent therapist that understands you and helps you through the challenges. I also understand the ups and downs of the therapy process. I understand the effort it takes to commit to go to therapy and I make a commitment to provide my clients the best care they need. I tailor my approaches to each person, and we keep an active conversation going about how therapy is helpful, and what we need to change to make it more useful. I am actively present in the ways my clients need so they can reach their therapy goals.
FREE therapy consultation in San Francisco, California
If you are considering therapy, either starting for the first time, or wanting to change therapists in hopes of finding a better fit, you can contact me. I understand the significance of having a good fit with your therapist. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. We can talk about what you need and how therapy in San Francisco, California, can help you.
